How Long Has It Been?

My Scarlett at 6 months!

I know it's been forever since I've written a blog post. I rarely have time to get on the computer and do what I want to do. My children have been keeping me pretty busy! They are too cute.

Derek is just an adorable little 2 1/2 year old. He loves MarioKart and the Cars game for the Wii. We bought him some Toy Story pajamas that look like a Woody costume and now he doesn't want to ever take it off. The other day he said, "Daddy, I want to go to Target to buy some Woody boots." So funny to hear that little voice say such a decided and full sentence. He sure does know what he wants. We did end up finding him some Woody boots at Famous Footwear, ON SALE!! So now he is going to be Woody for Halloween.

Scarlett is crawling! She's fast too. She loves to babble and squeal. She's discovered her voice and loves to use it. She lights up when she sees her daddy or her brother. Then Derek starts to "love" her and she growls at him. She's such a sweet little thing. She "sings" herself to sleep, much like Derek did when he was this age. She loves to grab things and is very quick. I've had a few drinks spilled and she's enjoyed feeling a few handfuls food from my plate. Such a funny little girl.

I'm just in love with my children.

At the pumpkin patch.

Tyler and I are doing well. Just trying to make it in this lovely economy. I got a new calling that I'm pretty excited about - Beehive Adviser in the Young Women program! I'm having a lot of fun and just love the girls.

Tyler, Derek, and Scarlett.

Happy Halloween, everyone! I'm planning on updating more often... hopefully...
if anyone even still checks our blog.. haha.
Love to you all!

Private

I'm going to make my blog private but it's not to keep friends and family away! I just am worried about sharing my beautiful children with a very scary world. Please let me know if you want to keep reading and I'd love to send you an invitation! Just send me your e-mail.
Love to you all!

Too Fast...

My little Scarlett is 6 weeks all ready. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I've neglected this blog severely. I'm sorry. I've been thinking about making it private. I don't necessarily want to because I know I like to blog surf and find people that I grew up or worked with and just love but don't know them well enough now to ask them for an invite to their blog. Do you know what I mean? Nothing creepy, it's just fun to see people and their families and I don't want people to think I'm trying to keep them out of my life. But I had an experience the other day where someone started talking to Derek in the store and then after I left the store, I noticed this person sitting in their car staring at us as I put the kids into my car and it scared me. So I'm thinking about making it private. I don't know...

So Scarlett is doing great! She's a good eater and a good sleeper. If she were my only child, I'd be getting plenty of sleep. Derek is spirited and keeps me pretty busy. He loves his little sister and wants to hold her, kiss her, tickle her, and play with her.

We had Scarlett's baby blessing at the beginning of the month. It was beautiful. She looked adorable in a dress that Connie made for her. Ulzii, her cousin, was blessed later the same day.


I'm enjoying being a mother of two. I'm super tired pretty much all of the time but my kids are just adorable! I'm finally feeling better and can actually do things. I'm still supposed to take it easy because if I even walk too much, I pay for it. I don't know how I'm supposed to stay off of my feet all day while taking care of my children and house. I guess that's why my house is an absolute wreck right now. It's ridiculous. I'm so behind now that catching up seems impossible. I just do a little every day and hope that the chaos doesn't rattle my brain. I also try to implement some of the fabulous advice of FlyLady.

Here I am on Mother's Day with my beautiful babies:

Hope all the mother's out there had a fabulous Mother's Day. I know I did. Tyler and Derek brought me breakfast in bed, which Derek then got all over my sheets. Haha. They got me flowers and See's Candy gift certificates. I've eaten 2 lbs of chocolate since then. It was delicious.

Hopefully I'll be able to write again soon. It's hard to actually get on the computer now-a-days. I usually check my e-mail and Facebook on my phone - it's just easier. It's harder to type on the phone though so I'm getting really really bad at keeping in touch with people! I love you all! Really, I do!

Forgive me if this seems to flow weird or is grammatically incorrect in places. I don't have time to proof-read right now. I have to get D bug out of the house before one of us goes insane.

Announcing

Scarlett
April 3, 2011
7 lbs 1 oz
19 inches

Birth story to follow shortly. I'm still a little emotional about it, but I'm slowly coming to terms. It was a beautiful day because it brought a beautiful, healthy, baby girl into our lives. I am extremely grateful for my little family. Love to you all!

40 Weeks!!

I made it to April!! I'm doing okay. I'm pulling a true Scarlett O'Hara about my ring and I'm not thinking about it today, I will think about it tomorrow, or after my Scarlett is born. I just can't think about it now...

I changed my mind about the bedding, again. I think I am going to get this bedding now. It's a little more red than the others. Although, I love the others... I don't know. I bought swatches to see if it's what I really want. I'm very excited. Hopefully Scarlett will be here when they come. Maybe she'll have an opinion.

I have my next appointment on Monday... If there is no news this weekend, I'll write again after seeing the midwife. I'm too tired to write much more tonight...

Where Did My Good Go?

This has been a really hard week for me. I've been trying so hard to be positive and happy and I've just lost it. Monday I had my prenatal appointment and it didn't go as I expected. I was late to the appointment. Tyler took the van into the shop that morning and it was supposed to be finished before we had to leave, but of course it wasn't. I ended up driving there by myself and Tyler was going to try and meet me there. I was late. So when I left my sample, I was a little distracted and frazzled. That's the last time I remember having my wedding ring for sure. Who knows where it is now. I lost my wedding ring. I'm heartbroken. I'm depressed. Every time I think about it I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry.

I know it's just an object. I lost the symbol of my marriage, but I still have my wonderful husband whom I love and adore. It's just a symbol. I didn't lose the love of my life. That's what matters, right? I'm still heartbroken. I loved that ring. I love that ring.


I'm trying to regain my positive attitude. I'm trying not to be discouraged. I'm trying not to let the negativity around me, the crazy pregnancy hormones, and the sadness from losing my ring get to me. I know people are just waiting for me to pop. I feel the pressure. I know that if I don't have the baby soon, I will have no one to help me afterwards. Where I once was calm and confident I am now nervous and anxious. I want the good feelings back! I don't mind waiting but apparently if Scarlett waits too long, I will pay for it. I don't want to feel that way. I just want to feel relaxed and happy again. I miss those feelings of security. And I miss my ring. I'm having trouble sleeping at night and I'm just so tired and frustrated and sad.

Say a little prayer for me. Think good thoughts and send some hope my way.

Love to you all.

Almost There...

39 Weeks.

It's been an interesting week.
I get an e-mail every week updating me on my pregnancy from the bump.com. This is what Week 39 said:

Hang in there -- you're almost done! Predicting a due date isn't an exact science (and can make for some pretty lucrative wagering), but there are definite signs that the time is near. Look for the bloody show, the passing of the mucous plug, diarrhea, nausea, energy spurts, contractions, and breaking of the water.

I don't want to be graphic, so I'll just say that I feel labor is pretty close... I'm getting pretty excited about it too. I just keep wondering what she will look like. I woke up the other day with that feeling you get when you're a kid and Christmas is near, except my gift is much more precious than anything you can buy in a store. I will be holding my baby girl soon. Definitely, one way or the other, within the next three weeks!

I've had "practice labor" almost every night. I didn't think I'd make it to today, honestly. I'm okay with it, because I'm still holding out for an April baby, but my mother is very disappointed. She often puts her head by my belly and says, very sternly, "Scarlett, come out!" I keep telling her that she'll come when she's good and ready. I hope I don't have some kind of mental block that is keeping my labor from progressing. I'm kinda stressed about where and with whom Derek will be while we are in the hospital. I don't want him to be scared or feel abandoned or anything. It seems like all our family members are busy, sick, or live too far away. So every time my contractions get within 10 minutes of each other I start to worry.

The other day my sister called Scarlett, "Red," in a comment on Facebook. Since then, I've had several dreams where red is a major theme. In one, Scarlett was born, fully dressed in a blue gingham dress and she looked more like a 6 month old than a newborn. She looked like a mix between my niece, Zayaa, Derek, and my little sister, Sabrina, at that age. Her face shape was like Zayaa, flaming red hair like Sabrina, with Derek's features but with bright blue eyes. The hair was incredible.

The other one that made a huge impression on me was from my nap yesterday. In my dream I expected to see red bedding in her room but saw the bedding that I picked out instead. I was incredulous! How could I make such a huge oversight! Scarlett needs scarlet bedding! I woke up frantic about switching my whole plan for her room. I started looking online for new ideas and found two that I love. I thought that I would snap out of it but I am really excited about the new looks! What do you think? Here are the two choices:

Sundae Bedding

Delilah Bedding

(Leave your vote on the poll to the right, between the Friends and Family lists!)

Maybe I'll post again after my prenatal appointment tomorrow. Or MAYBE my next post will be my birth story! We'll see, I guess! Love to you all!

38 Weeks and Counting

38 Weeks

I still feel great! Well, for the most part, I feel great. Saturday night was a terrible terrible night. I don't know what was going on but I had heartburn, nausea, and a crazy burst of anxious energy. I didn't fall asleep until 7am. I was pretty out of it on Sunday. I had a crazy week last week, so that might have contributed. Monday, both Derek and I had doctor appointments that I stressed over being on time for. Tuesday morning, my brother, Dan, called to tell us that Choka was in labor and that he was taking her to the hospital. So my mom and I went over there to help out. Mom went to the hospital with them and I watched their 3 other adorable children. I felt honored to be the one watching them, but boy, it wore me out! Choka had a beautiful baby girl, Ulzii, at 5:49pm. We were so excited to welcome our new little niece to the world. She's just a little doll!!!

I had a really hard time getting out of bed on Wednesday but I did and I helped my mom with the Walker kids that day as well. Tyler and I also attended the HypnoBirthing class that we missed the first time around. It was pretty funny, our instructor was talking and the clock said 8:30 but it hadn't been changed for daylight savings! So we got out of class a little bit later than we normally would have. Somebody finally pointed it out to her and she hurried to finish, but we were all ready late getting out. I didn't mind, but Tyler wanted to get out of there. We sold one of our couches that day and the buyer wanted to pick it up that night and Tyler was a little nervous about making it home.

I don't remember much of Thursday. I think I probably was in bed all day. I don't really remember. Friday I was stressed out all day. I knew I had to have my house clean and I was so stressed out about the baby shower. The invitations didn't get sent out until a couple of days before the party and I was just worried about the whole thing coming together. I went out with my mom and Choka to get decorations and food. I know I'm crazy, but I really wanted frog-eyed-salad so I stayed up all night making it. I didn't need to worry so much, but I didn't know how to just relax.

Saturday morning, I woke up just a few hours after I went to bed so that I could finish cleaning up downstairs. Tyler got up and ordered me back to bed. What a sweet husband!! He took care of the cleaning and even got Derek all ready for the day.

The baby shower went great! I shouldn't have worried so much. We had a great turn out for such short notice and I really really appreciate everyone who came or who tried or who just supported from afar. I also really appreciate my Mom, Choka, and our friend, Becca, for throwing a beautiful baby shower to celebrate the upcoming birth of my baby girl (and of course my husband who did a lot of the hanging of decorations)!

Enjoying the delicious food!

Everything was absolutely beautiful!

Thank you, everyone! I really appreciate all the love and support! I feel truly blessed!

***

I had another prenatal appointment this morning. I am 2+ cm dilated, 70% effaced and she's still in -2 station. She's in the right position for birth though so I'm THRILLED! I've been getting stronger contractions in the last couple of days but still nothing labor-like. My mom has been "walking" me, trying to get me started. She even offered to buy me the ring I want if I go into labor today. Haha. Funny Mom. If it only worked like that. I'm fine waiting but she is getting very anxious. We walked in the mall today and as we were on our last lap, we walked by a dad with his two kids. As we were passing the little family, he looked back at the little girl who was following him and said, "Hurry up, Scarlett. Come on!" WEIRD and kinda awesome, right? I'm very excited about Scarlett coming, but I'd like her to be fully developed and ready before she makes her debut. I'm really in no hurry, honestly. We'll see what the week brings.

(I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense. I tried to re-read it but I am exhausted so I'm giving up. I probably rambled. Forgive me.)

Happy Birthday, My Little Peanut

Derek turned 2 on Wednesday!! I can't believe I have a 2 year old, well, I can actually. He's got crazy energy and a very strong will. We celebrated a week ago with a "KACHOW" birthday party. Derek loved it. He was especially thrilled with the everybody singing to him. It was adorable.

Derek is such a cutie. He loves playing MarioKart, which he calls "Go-Go" and his Cars video game. He is actually pretty good at MarioKart but he usually doesn't place in the race because he gets distracted and wants to hit all the bananas and crates and go off all the jumps. (Did I all ready blog about this? I feel like I did. I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.) He says things like, "I'm gonna get you!" and "I want carseat; Mommy come!" I love it when he says, "It's not working!" or "I got you, I got you!" So funny.

He's also such a sweet little thing. He gives lots of hugs and kisses. I love it when he pats my back. I wasn't feeling very good the other day and he just patted my arm and said, "Ok, Mommy. I'm sorry." He's just adorable. He is a ball of energy, though. I'm exhausted trying to keep up with him. It's also really hard to get him to eat anything. He goes through phases; sometimes he eats great and sometimes he just plain refuses. I don't want to give him any eating complexes but I also want him to get what he needs! It's a little frustrating.

He still loves to sing and dance. He loves Cars, Nemo, and Toy Story. He also still loves Wow Wow Wubbzy and Ni-Hao Kai-lan. His favorite book right now is, "The Going to Bed Book" by Sandra Boynton and his favorite game on the iPod Touch is "Pocket God."

We're working on colors right now and the alphabet. We spell his name and now every time he sees any writing he says, "D-E-R!" He also is getting the counting thing down. I'm also trying to teach him about "inside voices," which is not going as well as I'd like it to go.

He's a delightful little thing and I love him!! I'm so happy and proud to be his mother. I am truly blessed. He amazes me every day. Happy Birthday, my baby boy! Mommy loves you!!!

(I just thought this picture was funny and I love it. Choka and I wore the same thing to Derek's birthday party. It's the last picture we have together that we are both pregnant. My mom says this is a picture of her and her "grand-maternal" twins. Hahaha.)

Weeks 35, 36, and 37

Week 35

Two days after taking the above picture, I got really sick. Monday night, after Derek went to bed, my chest started hurting. I thought it was just because Scarlett was still a little high and pushing on my lungs and I hadn't really slept a lot the week before. Tuesday morning I woke up with a huge headache, then I tried to move and realized my whole body was one big ache. It was a horrible horrible day. I had a wicked cough that was not normal. It was painful every time I moved, coughed, or Scarlett kicked. By the end of the day, the upper part of my back was sore. I made it through Tuesday and Wednesday morning I took a trip to the doctor. Bronchitis. They gave me antibiotics.

Derek started acting sick. He had some kind of cold that the rest of the family quickly caught. So I had bronchitis and then some other crazy thing on top of it. We watched a lot of movies and took a lot of naps. The only time I got up was to get Derek something to eat or drink. It was a really difficult week.

Week 36

I was still not feeling up to par last week. I think Wednesday or Thursday was the first day that I was up and doing things. We didn't leave the house until Friday. I hit the nesting stage though and went on a cleaning frenzy. Saturday, even though I was still sick, I couldn't stand it anymore and scrubbed our bathroom. I worked all day but it was very slow and thorough labor. Through all of last week, I tornado-ed through the house scrubbing every inch I could. Crazy crazy nesting mother. It feels so good to have a clean house. I have never liked cleaning but I couldn't stop myself last week. It was amazing. Right now I'm feeling very motivated to keep it sparkling. Lorna introduced me to this website called Flylady and I love it. I'm almost obsessed. So far it's helped keep things clean. I love it because it's all about loving yourself even when things aren't perfect and getting yourself into a routine so that chaos is a thing of the past.

Week 37

I feel much better now! Scarlett is considered "full-term" now so I suppose it could be any day now. My mom got into town yesterday and is watching me like I will pop any moment. She's more hoping that I will pop soon. I'm happy waiting for April. I had an appointment today and I'm 1 & 1/2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Really that doesn't mean a whole lot but it's still exciting that things are starting. No matter what, within a month, I'll have a little girl! I'm so excited!

It's Official...

that I have redefined myself as a 26 year old, mini-van driving, Justin Bieber loving mom of two.

I guess we're van people after all. I'm really excited about our new car. I absolutely love the Jetta. Love love love love. This is just more practical for our little family. It's a 2004 Toyota Sienna and I'm in love with the color. It's not one of the new fancy shmancy vans, but it does have a DVD player and dual sliding doors. The best part is that it fits much better within our budget. Look at me being practical. The Jetta was beginning to feel a little tight with the car-seats and all and we realized that when people come to visit, we'd have to take two cars everywhere we go, unless, of course, they wanted to try and fit between the car-seats. I'm pretty excited to start my life as a minivan driving mom. Okay, I'm a little reluctant, but I'm still having fun.

34 Weeks

I switched practices this week. It's a little late in my pregnancy, I know, but my last visit with my OB left me feeling unsupported and hopeless. I asked my HypnoBirthing instructor and my good, natural childbirth friend for a recommendation and both gave me the name of the same midwife practice. So, at the beginning of February, I called and made an appointment. They are pretty popular and pretty busy but I had my first appointment this week. I don't think I can properly convey the great difference in the way I felt during and after visits with my former care-provider and with the kind woman who listened to my concerns with patience and Derek's birth story with incredulity. I felt great relief as she told me the things that I felt I had to talk my doctor into previously are standard practice for the midwives! I still have to have an IV and continuous monitoring because I'm attempting a VBAC but I do not have to have the epidural catheter inserted "just in case." I just feel so much more confident, safe, and supported in the kind of birth that I would like to have.

So anyway, that's the big excitement for the week. I still feel great and I can't believe that I'm 34 weeks. It's getting harder to sleep because my options are severely limited and I wake up with numb limbs. My back has started to kill me, just starting today. Small prices to pay, really, and I think it's my fault. I need to work on my posture. I sit on the couch at a slant too. I need to be better. I've taken out the exercise ball; that will be my new chair. We're in the home stretch! I'm so excited! Little Scarlett will be here before we know it! I better pick a middle name... I've narrowed it down to 4 or 5. Maybe I'll just take those to the hospital with me and decide when I see her. Hopefully I won't be on Morphine like I was when I named Derek. Haha. Seriously.

Weeks 32 and 33

32 Weeks.

I'm still feeling pretty good. I am tired of the acne though. I had beautiful skin with Derek. My first pregnancy made my skin so nice! I guess girls start giving you grief early. I think it's finally getting better though. I don't know if it's the ProActive, the Rare Minerals Blemish Therapy, the massive amounts of water I'm drinking, or if it's just that the hormones are fluctuating in my favor but I'm hopeful that maybe my skin will start to clear up!

Scarlett is a squirmer. Her kicks are distinctly different than Derek's were. Derek's were sharp and quick. Scarlett's movements have a more roll-y feel to them. Does that make sense? It's funny how you can tell in a small way the different personalities of babies in the womb. She moves a lot. She's a lot lower than Derek ever was too, which I look at as a very good thing because it probably means she's actually in a proper position for a natural birth. Woohoo!

I still don't have heartburn.

33 Weeks.

I'm getting more and more excited as Spring approaches. I am excited and happy that Scarlett will be here soon. I still have so much to do before she comes. When I tell people that I'm "due" in April, it seems so far away and then I think about it in weeks and I freak out a little bit. 6 or 7 weeks! That's it? I don't have her room ready or a middle name and I have about a thousand little organizing projects that I should complete before she gets here! I am stressed about the cleaning, etc. And I just can't decide on a middle name. I have a few favorites but... I don't know.

I've only started swelling in the last couple of weeks. We drove to California, and I think the swelling there was just from being in the car for so long over a three day spread. I had to take my ring off during church today because it was feeling a little tight but I was able to put it back on shortly afterward. So, not bad at all! Like I said, I still feel pretty great. I could use a nice massage though... Man, I want a massage!!! And a foot rub... awww... a foot rub would be awesome... And a bath! Does anyone have a big tub I can camp out in? Mine is very very small... Maybe I'll just have to escape to a spa. If only...

If only...

A preggy can dream, can't she?

Derek, Just About a Month Before the Big 2

Derek is quickly approaching 2 years old! He is so funny and so lovable. He still loves "Kachow" or Disney/Pixar's "Cars." I think that's what I'm going to try to have as the theme for his birthday party. He will often fall asleep with two or three "Kachows" in his hands. If you'll notice in the pictures, he had to have "Kachow" playing with him in the snow. He also loves to play the Wii "Cars" game and MarioKart. He knows Mario, Yoshi, and calls Princess Peach, "mommy." That's how he gets me to play "Go Go" (MarioKart). He's getting better at it and can even make it through a whole lap every now and again! I was impressed.

We had a couple of good snow days that he was able to go out and play. He mostly likes to throw it and eat it. I tried to help him build a snowman but he kept eating it. He calls the snow, "nose," which I always find amusing.

He says a few things very distinctly, like, stuck, for instance is "scuss." He also says some pretty funny phrases like, "are you kidding me?" and "aww man!" His vocabulary is growing quickly and we have to watch what we say because he repeats just about everything. Not everything is completely understandable yet, but he's getting there. He also sings along with whatever music we're listening to. His favorite right now is anything from "Wow Wow Wubbzy." We went through a phase of listening to "Witch Doctor" and "Hot Dog!" from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse over and over again.



He gives lots of hugs and kisses. The other night, Derek was asleep and kinda woke up, found my hand, and put it under his face. He let out a little baby sigh and fell back asleep. It absolutely melted my heart. Those are the moments I live for. Just the other day, Tyler was taking my pregnancy picture for the week and Derek wanted in on it. He smiled and said, "cheese!" He kept giving me kisses and posing. It was adorable! It was the first time I've seen him ham it up for the camera. He usually gets this look on his face like, "okay, Mom, enough pictures!"

Derek can jump with both feet off the floor, which is apparently advanced as far as balance goes. I'm such a proud mama. He's getting those fine motor skills down as well. He eats with utensils, most of the time. I don't even put a bib on him most of the time anymore because he's not really that messy. Well, at least he doesn't get a lot of food on his clothing anymore. He still makes a mess. He's really good at picking things up with his thumb and forefinger. He can kick a ball. He tries to throw and catch as well. He stacks blocks. He's even starting with pretend play. That's a big milestone!

I can't believe my baby is almost 2. I can't believe he'll have a baby sister soon! It's probably going to rock his world. I hope everything goes well. I know there will be an adjustment. I'm just worried about it. I hope he still feels loved and appreciated and that he and Scarlett get along. When I ask Derek where Scarlett is, he points to my stomach. The first time he made the connection he said, "Oh there he is!" It made me laugh. How did I get such an adorable little boy? He is adored. Have you seen his eyelashes? I think he's beautiful.
And smart.
And amazing.

Goodbye to a Beloved Uncle

I got a call from my mom a week ago, Sunday. She sounded sad when she left me a voice message and when I called her back, she told me that my Uncle Ron had passed away that morning. It didn't sink in right away. It still doesn't feel real and it's been a week and a half. I still feel like I'll see him next time we go to Riverside. I wish we would have made it down there more often.

I love my Uncle Ron. It was so fun to visit him. I knew that when we were going to see Uncle Ron, we'd have good food and laugh until our cheeks hurt. Some of the best meals I've ever had were made by Chef Fry. When he used to barbecue, he'd give us little bits to taste that he called, "cheater meat." His beef jerky put all other beef jerky to shame.

His sense of humor never failed. You could count on his sly wit and impeccable timing to have the whole room laughing. He loved us, even though we may have annoyed him. He was patient with me. When I was very young, I'd steal his seat every time he left it. He smiled and resisted the urge to forcefully remove me from his chair. He won my heart by calling me, "the pretty one." He was a character.

I will miss him. I'm sad that my children won't get to know him in this life. I'm comforted in my belief that I will see him again one day. Goodbye, Uncle Ron, until we meet again.

My family at the Memorial.

That Goal I Made...

Ask me how I'm doing on that goal I made to go to bed before 2:00am every night...

Go ahead...

Remember, it was just a few nights ago?


I'm failing miserably. Goodnight.
Maybe I'll do better tomorrow...

Weeks 25-31: Scarlett's Gestation

25 Weeks

I love being pregnant. I love being a mom. It's amazing to know that there is a baby in my body! It's crazy! I mean, this whole propagation of the species thing is so amazing. It's amazing that that I am fostering the growth and development of another being. Someone recently boggled my mind by saying that it is unknown how much the fetus understands because it is literally a part of the mother's body. Think about it, I know it's an outlandish concept, but we know that there is a strong mind-body connection and if the fetus is part of the mother's body, maybe they are wiser than we give think. I don't know how much Scarlett can understand now, but I do know that she all ready has a little personality. She feels and acts completely different than Derek did. It's amazing. This whole thing is amazing.

26 Weeks.

We have our last HypnoBirthing class this week and I'm kinda sad that the class series is coming to a close. I'd love to have a class every week until I give birth. It's awesome. And I know, you, dear reader, probably think I'm crazy. The first time I heard about HypnoBirthing, I thought it was crazy too. I remember my reaction to my boss coming in to work saying that she was going to use this method and I thought, "Yeah... sure. That sounds crazy." Then I got pregnant with Derek and I did some research and soul searching and decided that I would love to birth drug-free. I grew up with a mother who told me that birth was a beautiful thing and a spiritual experience. I have had a lot of negative conditioning as well from others' stories, television, movies, and society in general, but my mom always talked about how she just relaxed during labor and it was amazing. I read books, took classes, and was prepared to have a natural birth. Derek had other plans and had to be removed surgically because he was transverse. I labored through full dose Pitocin contractions without pain and with medication. It wasn't until they scared me that I felt any pain at all. This is what led me back to HypnoBirthing when I got pregnant again. I remembered reading in HypnoBirthing book that when a woman is relaxed and free of fear, "surges" or contractions, are not painful. This rang so true to my own experience. The nurse came in while I was laboring with Derek and asked me how I was doing. I smiled, still bouncing on my "birth ball" and replied, "great!" She looked kinda shocked and said, "wow, most people having contractions like you are are begging for an epidural." I just kinda breathed through contractions and wasn't even aware that they were considered "intense." So now I'm taking classes and am going to try again with this gentle, natural childbirth method. I do have to say though, because people get really defensive when someone else brings up birthing without pain medication, I AM NOT JUDGING YOU IF YOU WANT TO HAVE AN EPIDURAL DURING LABOR. There, I said it. Another thing, KEEP YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS TO YOURSELF. I will try to have respect for your opinions but I don't think anyone should discourage anyone else from having the birth that they want.
I think it is equally wrong to make someone have pain medication as it is to deny someone pain medication while in labor.
I believe that God made our bodies and don't believe that He would give EVERY woman a malfunctioning uterus. Yes there are special circumstances all the time. I was a special circumstance with Derek. I still believe that I was made to give birth, that women are made to give birth. I believe that you, if you are a woman and in good health, could birth normally and naturally as well. I also believe that it is YOUR choice, a very personal choice, as to how you give birth.

27 Weeks.

I think things are going well with Scarlett. She kicks me like crazy and I love it. Sleeping isn't the easiest thing to do, but it's still one of my favorite things to do. If I fall asleep sitting up, I wake myself up with my snoring. Tyler thinks it's funny. It is. Sometimes I'll only be half asleep and I'll think, "who is snoring?! Be quiet!" When I realize it's me, it makes me laugh.

28 Weeks.

I don't have heartburn yet, which is kinda making me nervous. I read some study awhile ago that postulated that mothers who have bad heartburn when they are pregnant are more likely to have a child born with hair. I had horrible heartburn with Derek and he was born with tons of hair. I hope my little Scarlett isn't born bald! She, of course, will still be adorable, but I really want her to have hair! I hope she gets Derek's eyelashes too. Those didn't show up till a few weeks after birth though. I can't wait to see what my little girl is going to look like!

29 Weeks.

I have been trying to get Derek to grasp the concept of Mommy having a baby in her tummy. I think he's coming around. I don't know if he completely understands yet. The other day I was talking to him and telling him that his baby sister, Scarlett, was in my tummy. I later asked him, "Where's Scarlett?" He looked at my stomach and said, "Oh there he is!" It was really cute. Now when I ask him, he pokes my tummy. Tyler thinks he just thinks my stomach is named Scarlett. I hope that's not true. Tyler started saying, "Where's Greg?" and pointing to his own stomach. I told him not to confuse my little boy.

30 Weeks.

I'm getting really excited about everything! I've made baby registries on Amazon.com and Babies R Us even though my baby shower isn't going to be until the middle/end of March. I've started planning her room but haven't done anything to get it ready yet. I am most excited about that burst of energy called, "nesting." Right now I am just so tired, it's hard to get anything done. I have to make a real effort not to fall asleep in church. I often fall asleep on the couch playing with Derek. I just barely got the iron supplements my doctor told me to get, so hopefully that will help. I was borderline anemic and hopefully the iron with give me a little more energy. The staying up late doesn't help either. I need to get myself to bed at a reasonable hour!! Tyler works so much though and by the time he gets home and Derek finally gets to bed, I want to spend a little bonding time with my husband! I also need some time to focus on the things that I want to do, ya know? I end up going to bed around 2. Not acceptable! Okay, I'm making a goal, right now, to get to bed earlier. There, I've written it down; it's official.

31 Weeks.

I'm measuring right where I'm supposed to be. The last few weeks, I've had several people tell me how big I look. Thanks, right? When I went to my last appointment on January 18th, I told my doctor that I was concerned that it wasn't just one or two people but like 5 or 6 people tell me that I look huge and farther along than I was. She said that I was measuring perfectly and had only gained 20 pounds. Even if I gained a pound a week for the rest of my pregnancy, I would be right where the recommendations are for someone with my BMI. I guess when you have a short little torso, the baby has no where else to go but out. That's okay by me. I am not going to worry about it. That's my philosophy on so many things nowadays. Maybe I'll worry about it tomorrow. Haha. That one was for you, Scarlett.

My Birthday and New Year's Eve

My birthday went something like this:

I woke up in the very early morning hours feeling sick. I stayed in bed for as long as I could and then called my doctor to make an appointment. I got ready and figured that I'd leave a little bit early to try and see if I could get in any earlier. It's a good thing that I planned to leave early; there was a huge snow storm the night before and it took me about 40 minutes to get the ice and snow off of my car. My trunk was frozen shut and the snow-brusher-offer-thingy happened to be in there. When I finally broke it free, the snow pile was way too thick too just use the brush so I used the snow shovel first to get the majority off of the car and then scraped the rest with the gentler tool. Then I got in my car and tried to back out of my driveway and was unsuccessful. I had to get back out of the car and shovel the snow in the driveway. Through the ordeal, I was kicking my car and yelling at the snow. I was just about in tears. The mailman came over after I was mostly finished and asked if I ever got my trunk to open. I said yes and he drove away. I must have looked like a mess.

They did the strep test on me and it was negative but I told her my symptoms and that I had been exposed over Christmas. She looked in my throat and they said it looked like strep and swabbed my throat again for another test. Fun.

I stopped by Zupas on the way home for my birthday lunch and got some soup and creme brulee to go. Derek and I went home and had lunch and then we both went back to bed. I spent the rest of the day napping while Derek ran around and watched cartoons.

That was my birthday. It wasn't very fun but I had a lot of friends and family call or write me and wish me a happy birthday and that made it a lot brighter.

On New Year's Eve, Derek and Tyler brought me flowers in the morning for my birthday. We went over to Dan and Choka's with Cory and Katie to celebrate! Dan made me a birthday cake.

The kids watched a movie and the adults played Settlers of Catan. (Did I spell that right? I'm too lazy to look it up right now...) It worked, for the most part. We watched the ball drop and had sparkling cider. I was surprised that the kids made it to midnight, but they all did! It was a good night and I think we got the year off to a good start.


Since then, I've had another birthday cake, made by my mother-in-law and many offers for re-do birthday lunches. It's been nice to have that extension! Thank you to everyone for all the birthday love!

Goodbye 2010; Welcome 2011!!

Dear 2010,

Good riddance. I'm glad you're gone. You were 90% horrible. I am thankful for the lesson in patience and faith that you taught me but I will not miss you. Ok, we did have some good times. You were my child's second year of life and that gives you a little redemption. I probably am a better person for having lived through you. I'm not going to miss you though. Not one little bit.

Farewell,
Tara

Dear 2011,

Well, you're all ready way better than 2010. Let's keep it that way, eh?

Thanks,
Tara

My goals for the year are to stop caring about what other people think. I want to be more accepting, loving, charitable, and less judgmental. I want to gain 10 pounds and then lose 30. Haha. Little pregnancy joke for you.

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope this year is an awesome one. And if nothing else, I sincerely hope it's better than my 2010. Love to you all!

Christmas 2010

We had a very Merry Christmas! It was a month ago, I know, but is it ever too late to talk about how wonderful Christmas is? Dad and Bree came up to celebrate with us. Derek was a little overwhelmed with the present opening. He was happy with the first present. He just wanted to stop and play. We had to cajole him to open each additional present. It was still very cute. We started with stockings and we put some candy canes sticking out of the top. He was thrilled! He didn't care about anything else! He stole all of Bree's candy canes and was walking around with arms full of candy canes. We could have saved a bunch of money this year and stopped with those!

He was very excited about Mickey.

We opened presents at our house first, then went over to Dan and Choka's for more gift giving and a fabulous brunch. Then we had more gift exchanging and a big Christmas dinner with the Prestgard's at Shanda and Christof's house. I forgot my camera so I don't have any pictures of the last part.

The family photo. It took many attempts to get this picture. I closed my eyes in a couple of previous pictures so my eyes look kinda bugged. Haha.

Our little family.

We had a great Christmas and we hope you all did too! It's a great time of year to try to be a little more like our Savior. I'm very grateful for His birth and for His life and for His great sacrifice for us. Merry Christmas everyone! (Only 1 month late)....

We're Still Here!

I haven't written in a long time. But we're all healthy and happy. I just need to get my act together and upload some more pictures and I'll do a nice, long, series of update posts. I will start right now. It's nap-time though, so we'll see how far we get. So sleepy...