Private

I'm going to make my blog private but it's not to keep friends and family away! I just am worried about sharing my beautiful children with a very scary world. Please let me know if you want to keep reading and I'd love to send you an invitation! Just send me your e-mail.
Love to you all!

Too Fast...

My little Scarlett is 6 weeks all ready. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I've neglected this blog severely. I'm sorry. I've been thinking about making it private. I don't necessarily want to because I know I like to blog surf and find people that I grew up or worked with and just love but don't know them well enough now to ask them for an invite to their blog. Do you know what I mean? Nothing creepy, it's just fun to see people and their families and I don't want people to think I'm trying to keep them out of my life. But I had an experience the other day where someone started talking to Derek in the store and then after I left the store, I noticed this person sitting in their car staring at us as I put the kids into my car and it scared me. So I'm thinking about making it private. I don't know...

So Scarlett is doing great! She's a good eater and a good sleeper. If she were my only child, I'd be getting plenty of sleep. Derek is spirited and keeps me pretty busy. He loves his little sister and wants to hold her, kiss her, tickle her, and play with her.

We had Scarlett's baby blessing at the beginning of the month. It was beautiful. She looked adorable in a dress that Connie made for her. Ulzii, her cousin, was blessed later the same day.


I'm enjoying being a mother of two. I'm super tired pretty much all of the time but my kids are just adorable! I'm finally feeling better and can actually do things. I'm still supposed to take it easy because if I even walk too much, I pay for it. I don't know how I'm supposed to stay off of my feet all day while taking care of my children and house. I guess that's why my house is an absolute wreck right now. It's ridiculous. I'm so behind now that catching up seems impossible. I just do a little every day and hope that the chaos doesn't rattle my brain. I also try to implement some of the fabulous advice of FlyLady.

Here I am on Mother's Day with my beautiful babies:

Hope all the mother's out there had a fabulous Mother's Day. I know I did. Tyler and Derek brought me breakfast in bed, which Derek then got all over my sheets. Haha. They got me flowers and See's Candy gift certificates. I've eaten 2 lbs of chocolate since then. It was delicious.

Hopefully I'll be able to write again soon. It's hard to actually get on the computer now-a-days. I usually check my e-mail and Facebook on my phone - it's just easier. It's harder to type on the phone though so I'm getting really really bad at keeping in touch with people! I love you all! Really, I do!

Forgive me if this seems to flow weird or is grammatically incorrect in places. I don't have time to proof-read right now. I have to get D bug out of the house before one of us goes insane.

Announcing

Scarlett
April 3, 2011
7 lbs 1 oz
19 inches

Birth story to follow shortly. I'm still a little emotional about it, but I'm slowly coming to terms. It was a beautiful day because it brought a beautiful, healthy, baby girl into our lives. I am extremely grateful for my little family. Love to you all!

40 Weeks!!

I made it to April!! I'm doing okay. I'm pulling a true Scarlett O'Hara about my ring and I'm not thinking about it today, I will think about it tomorrow, or after my Scarlett is born. I just can't think about it now...

I changed my mind about the bedding, again. I think I am going to get this bedding now. It's a little more red than the others. Although, I love the others... I don't know. I bought swatches to see if it's what I really want. I'm very excited. Hopefully Scarlett will be here when they come. Maybe she'll have an opinion.

I have my next appointment on Monday... If there is no news this weekend, I'll write again after seeing the midwife. I'm too tired to write much more tonight...

Where Did My Good Go?

This has been a really hard week for me. I've been trying so hard to be positive and happy and I've just lost it. Monday I had my prenatal appointment and it didn't go as I expected. I was late to the appointment. Tyler took the van into the shop that morning and it was supposed to be finished before we had to leave, but of course it wasn't. I ended up driving there by myself and Tyler was going to try and meet me there. I was late. So when I left my sample, I was a little distracted and frazzled. That's the last time I remember having my wedding ring for sure. Who knows where it is now. I lost my wedding ring. I'm heartbroken. I'm depressed. Every time I think about it I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry.

I know it's just an object. I lost the symbol of my marriage, but I still have my wonderful husband whom I love and adore. It's just a symbol. I didn't lose the love of my life. That's what matters, right? I'm still heartbroken. I loved that ring. I love that ring.


I'm trying to regain my positive attitude. I'm trying not to be discouraged. I'm trying not to let the negativity around me, the crazy pregnancy hormones, and the sadness from losing my ring get to me. I know people are just waiting for me to pop. I feel the pressure. I know that if I don't have the baby soon, I will have no one to help me afterwards. Where I once was calm and confident I am now nervous and anxious. I want the good feelings back! I don't mind waiting but apparently if Scarlett waits too long, I will pay for it. I don't want to feel that way. I just want to feel relaxed and happy again. I miss those feelings of security. And I miss my ring. I'm having trouble sleeping at night and I'm just so tired and frustrated and sad.

Say a little prayer for me. Think good thoughts and send some hope my way.

Love to you all.

Almost There...

39 Weeks.

It's been an interesting week.
I get an e-mail every week updating me on my pregnancy from the bump.com. This is what Week 39 said:

Hang in there -- you're almost done! Predicting a due date isn't an exact science (and can make for some pretty lucrative wagering), but there are definite signs that the time is near. Look for the bloody show, the passing of the mucous plug, diarrhea, nausea, energy spurts, contractions, and breaking of the water.

I don't want to be graphic, so I'll just say that I feel labor is pretty close... I'm getting pretty excited about it too. I just keep wondering what she will look like. I woke up the other day with that feeling you get when you're a kid and Christmas is near, except my gift is much more precious than anything you can buy in a store. I will be holding my baby girl soon. Definitely, one way or the other, within the next three weeks!

I've had "practice labor" almost every night. I didn't think I'd make it to today, honestly. I'm okay with it, because I'm still holding out for an April baby, but my mother is very disappointed. She often puts her head by my belly and says, very sternly, "Scarlett, come out!" I keep telling her that she'll come when she's good and ready. I hope I don't have some kind of mental block that is keeping my labor from progressing. I'm kinda stressed about where and with whom Derek will be while we are in the hospital. I don't want him to be scared or feel abandoned or anything. It seems like all our family members are busy, sick, or live too far away. So every time my contractions get within 10 minutes of each other I start to worry.

The other day my sister called Scarlett, "Red," in a comment on Facebook. Since then, I've had several dreams where red is a major theme. In one, Scarlett was born, fully dressed in a blue gingham dress and she looked more like a 6 month old than a newborn. She looked like a mix between my niece, Zayaa, Derek, and my little sister, Sabrina, at that age. Her face shape was like Zayaa, flaming red hair like Sabrina, with Derek's features but with bright blue eyes. The hair was incredible.

The other one that made a huge impression on me was from my nap yesterday. In my dream I expected to see red bedding in her room but saw the bedding that I picked out instead. I was incredulous! How could I make such a huge oversight! Scarlett needs scarlet bedding! I woke up frantic about switching my whole plan for her room. I started looking online for new ideas and found two that I love. I thought that I would snap out of it but I am really excited about the new looks! What do you think? Here are the two choices:

Sundae Bedding

Delilah Bedding

(Leave your vote on the poll to the right, between the Friends and Family lists!)

Maybe I'll post again after my prenatal appointment tomorrow. Or MAYBE my next post will be my birth story! We'll see, I guess! Love to you all!

38 Weeks and Counting

38 Weeks

I still feel great! Well, for the most part, I feel great. Saturday night was a terrible terrible night. I don't know what was going on but I had heartburn, nausea, and a crazy burst of anxious energy. I didn't fall asleep until 7am. I was pretty out of it on Sunday. I had a crazy week last week, so that might have contributed. Monday, both Derek and I had doctor appointments that I stressed over being on time for. Tuesday morning, my brother, Dan, called to tell us that Choka was in labor and that he was taking her to the hospital. So my mom and I went over there to help out. Mom went to the hospital with them and I watched their 3 other adorable children. I felt honored to be the one watching them, but boy, it wore me out! Choka had a beautiful baby girl, Ulzii, at 5:49pm. We were so excited to welcome our new little niece to the world. She's just a little doll!!!

I had a really hard time getting out of bed on Wednesday but I did and I helped my mom with the Walker kids that day as well. Tyler and I also attended the HypnoBirthing class that we missed the first time around. It was pretty funny, our instructor was talking and the clock said 8:30 but it hadn't been changed for daylight savings! So we got out of class a little bit later than we normally would have. Somebody finally pointed it out to her and she hurried to finish, but we were all ready late getting out. I didn't mind, but Tyler wanted to get out of there. We sold one of our couches that day and the buyer wanted to pick it up that night and Tyler was a little nervous about making it home.

I don't remember much of Thursday. I think I probably was in bed all day. I don't really remember. Friday I was stressed out all day. I knew I had to have my house clean and I was so stressed out about the baby shower. The invitations didn't get sent out until a couple of days before the party and I was just worried about the whole thing coming together. I went out with my mom and Choka to get decorations and food. I know I'm crazy, but I really wanted frog-eyed-salad so I stayed up all night making it. I didn't need to worry so much, but I didn't know how to just relax.

Saturday morning, I woke up just a few hours after I went to bed so that I could finish cleaning up downstairs. Tyler got up and ordered me back to bed. What a sweet husband!! He took care of the cleaning and even got Derek all ready for the day.

The baby shower went great! I shouldn't have worried so much. We had a great turn out for such short notice and I really really appreciate everyone who came or who tried or who just supported from afar. I also really appreciate my Mom, Choka, and our friend, Becca, for throwing a beautiful baby shower to celebrate the upcoming birth of my baby girl (and of course my husband who did a lot of the hanging of decorations)!

Enjoying the delicious food!

Everything was absolutely beautiful!

Thank you, everyone! I really appreciate all the love and support! I feel truly blessed!

***

I had another prenatal appointment this morning. I am 2+ cm dilated, 70% effaced and she's still in -2 station. She's in the right position for birth though so I'm THRILLED! I've been getting stronger contractions in the last couple of days but still nothing labor-like. My mom has been "walking" me, trying to get me started. She even offered to buy me the ring I want if I go into labor today. Haha. Funny Mom. If it only worked like that. I'm fine waiting but she is getting very anxious. We walked in the mall today and as we were on our last lap, we walked by a dad with his two kids. As we were passing the little family, he looked back at the little girl who was following him and said, "Hurry up, Scarlett. Come on!" WEIRD and kinda awesome, right? I'm very excited about Scarlett coming, but I'd like her to be fully developed and ready before she makes her debut. I'm really in no hurry, honestly. We'll see what the week brings.

(I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense. I tried to re-read it but I am exhausted so I'm giving up. I probably rambled. Forgive me.)